P.s: This is an entry from my journal dated *6th May 2010.
I felt an emotion
seeping gently through my soul.
At first,
I was overjoyed,
I was overjoyed
to feel a bliss
I had thought never existed.
Gradually, fear got the better of me.
I fear embracing happiness.
I fear embracing love.
I fear embracing what I deserve.
Someone told me once,
"I feel you're the most deserving person to be bless with good things..."
and I swear,
I wanted to believe in it.
I struggled
to crawl out of my comfort zone.
I struggled to get rid of the fear
bounded by my past.
I struggled
again
and
again.
I got SO close to embracing joy
but I turned my back.
I turned my back
on what could have been my solace.
I didn't stop trying.
I picked myself up again
until
I could laugh out loud with an open heart
and look into the eyes of my loved ones
and meant every word I said.
Just recently,
I learned to embrace Happiness.
Then, just when I thought
things were going to stay blissful,
I realised
nothing is constant,
not Joy,
not Sadness,
not Anger,
not Hope,
and never the good things in life.
What's meant to be hold
will eventually have to be let go.
It has always been a matter of time.
I started asking myself,
"What good is embracing Joy
if I knew right from the start it was never going to last?"
I had to..
Embracing happiness
was a choice I made
because I knew
if I never gave it a shot,
I would never have known
what I was worth.
Is it worth all the risks then?
I say, YES.
It's worth every struggle I put up with,
every doubt I learned to endure,
every ounce of fear I overcome.
Now, it is time
to let go again.
I've had a chance
to embrace Joy,
to experience
the most amazing emotion seeping right through my soul.
What more can I possibly ask for?
I cannot possibly be holding on
too tight to things
which are meant to come and go.
There was never a promise of forever.
Letting go means I would cry
the tears I suppressed.
Letting go means I would feel
the hurt of
an adversity in life.
Letting go means
it would take me sometime
to get over everything that comes with it.
I believe
I am meant
for some really wonderful blessings in life.
The belief have turned into a reality.
Only that with every reality
comes a whole lot of possibilities.
I am going to endure whatever comes.
Tears streamed down my face
like the river
which wouldn't stop flowing.
My heart aches
as if it is being shattered
and then put together all over again.
I never thought it would ache this bad.
I thought
nothing
could
ever
come
close
to the agony of losing my mother.
How wrong I was
because truth is,
the pain of losing someone
is very much similar
to the pain of letting go.
I gave happiness a shot.
I gave myself a chance.
Now,
it's just down to another phase of life
which would lead me
to another series of experiences.
A blessing
will always remain a blessing
if I choose to look at it as a wonder.
So what if it hurts?
What good is happiness without some sorrows?
What good is Love without Hurt?
I am utterly grateful. :)
At first,
I was overjoyed,
I was overjoyed
to feel a bliss
I had thought never existed.
Gradually, fear got the better of me.
I fear embracing happiness.
I fear embracing love.
I fear embracing what I deserve.
Someone told me once,
"I feel you're the most deserving person to be bless with good things..."
and I swear,
I wanted to believe in it.
I struggled
to crawl out of my comfort zone.
I struggled to get rid of the fear
bounded by my past.
I struggled
again
and
again.
I got SO close to embracing joy
but I turned my back.
I turned my back
on what could have been my solace.
I didn't stop trying.
I picked myself up again
until
I could laugh out loud with an open heart
and look into the eyes of my loved ones
and meant every word I said.
Just recently,
I learned to embrace Happiness.
Then, just when I thought
things were going to stay blissful,
I realised
nothing is constant,
not Joy,
not Sadness,
not Anger,
not Hope,
and never the good things in life.
What's meant to be hold
will eventually have to be let go.
It has always been a matter of time.
I started asking myself,
"What good is embracing Joy
if I knew right from the start it was never going to last?"
I had to..
Embracing happiness
was a choice I made
because I knew
if I never gave it a shot,
I would never have known
what I was worth.
Is it worth all the risks then?
I say, YES.
It's worth every struggle I put up with,
every doubt I learned to endure,
every ounce of fear I overcome.
Now, it is time
to let go again.
I've had a chance
to embrace Joy,
to experience
the most amazing emotion seeping right through my soul.
What more can I possibly ask for?
I cannot possibly be holding on
too tight to things
which are meant to come and go.
There was never a promise of forever.
Letting go means I would cry
the tears I suppressed.
Letting go means I would feel
the hurt of
an adversity in life.
Letting go means
it would take me sometime
to get over everything that comes with it.
I believe
I am meant
for some really wonderful blessings in life.
The belief have turned into a reality.
Only that with every reality
comes a whole lot of possibilities.
I am going to endure whatever comes.
Tears streamed down my face
like the river
which wouldn't stop flowing.
My heart aches
as if it is being shattered
and then put together all over again.
I never thought it would ache this bad.
I thought
nothing
could
ever
come
close
to the agony of losing my mother.
How wrong I was
because truth is,
the pain of losing someone
is very much similar
to the pain of letting go.
I gave happiness a shot.
I gave myself a chance.
Now,
it's just down to another phase of life
which would lead me
to another series of experiences.
A blessing
will always remain a blessing
if I choose to look at it as a wonder.
So what if it hurts?
What good is happiness without some sorrows?
What good is Love without Hurt?
I am utterly grateful. :)
